It's the little things



http://www.flickr.com/photos/eve_leroux/12604617694/


It took me some time to decide how I wanted to add my response to Lord Winter's hi-jack of Berry's Monday Meme with a request for stories of Hope. I don't normally share personal stuff and have written and re-written this many times.
I've had numerous challenges in my life, so picking one isn't easy to do. Listing them out feels like I am asking for attention, so I am settling on my latest challenge and what will be an ongoing one for life. It's also one that I haven't shared with a lot of people. Mainly because I don't want to talk too much about it and also, too much sympathy makes me uncomfortable.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Now, this isn't something I ever considered having to know much about. I've grown up with family members suffering from breast cancer, diabetes to Alzheimer's. Still, most of these things in later years. It never occurred to me that I would have to deal with something this serious at only age 35. If you are like me, you had visions of people in wheel chairs, twitching all over the place, when I said Multiple Sclerosis.
As you can imagine, I read everything I could find about MS before my first appointment with my Neurologist. Yeah, my Neurologist. It still sounds strange to me, too. The things I read didn't make me feel any better. Suddenly, so many things I had experienced over the past decade begin to make more sense.
The disease has greatly effected my focus and memory. Last year, I lost vision in one eye and have since gained most of it back. I have muscle aches, spasms, and cramps often. My eye twitches. A lot. I battle fatigue daily. I have to avoid getting hot, it actually hurts, brings on symptoms and clouds my head. I get depressed at times if I think too much about what the future may hold for me. My treatment slows the progression of the disease, however, there is no cure.
But, you know what, I can still walk, run and do cartwheels if I want to. I can almost see 20/20 with my contacts again. And I take a medication that helps me focus and aids with my memory. Not to mention, friends and family who support me and understand if I look at them blankly when I don't remember one little (probably) detail they told me yesterday. I find humor in the little things and appreciate that it's not as bad as it could be. By the way, does anyone know where I can reserve my future high-speed wheelchair? You know, just in case. I need time to prep hydraulics and get rims...

My story is ongoing. Hope, strength and courage. Even when I think I don't have them, they are there.

Credits
Horns: RO - Cherubim Horns - Cupid Red - FaMeshed
Headband: RO - Lovestruck - Group Gift
Tattoo: [ S H O C K ] Patient Zero - Face Tattoo - JoJ Hunt
Outfit:  Baiastice Lingerie Corset-black/red - new
Hair:  TRUTH  HAIR Rowan - new
Eyes : IKON Promise Eyes - Dune
Hands: Slink  Mesh Hands Pose: Del May



4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis but happy to see you getting through it with so much strength. You're so inspiring. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Berry! It's funny to me how others see strength when I don't really feel it. It was very hard for me to share myself that way. I've been emotional since I posted it and was wondering why, since I've been dealing with it for a year now. I spoke to one of my RL friends and she said it was because it was a form of accepting it. I guess I really needed to do that, so thank you to you and Winter. :)

      Delete
  2. Eve, thank you for sharing your story. Like Berry, I feel inspired by your attitude. Strength and grace are a marvelous combination; they will, no doubt, continue to serve you well.
    Best always, Mireille

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mireille! I am glad my words spoke to you. Grace is hardly a word I'd associate with myself, so I am very glad my words painted that image! So far, I think the humor has helped me the most. Even before a formal diagnosis, I was cracking jokes about it. I think staying positive requires a healthy dose of humor. Thanks, again!

      Delete